top of page

Why Me?

Why All People Suffer: Why Me?

When we suffer, the first two questions asked are "why me?" and "how do I make it stop?"


Quick insight: You must answer the first question to adequately address the second.  Without knowing the reason for suffering, any solutions would fall short of fully addressing the issue.

Isn't it impossible to determine why anyone suffers? 

Quick answer: No, suffering is a mesage from God directing us away from what is harmful to us or others so it must be understandable. 


That said, it does require us to be aligned with God's goals to understand properly. When viewed with the thought that God's goall is to perfect us so that we can join Him in the afterlife and that suffering has four tasks to get us there and there are four types of evil to  be addresses,  most suffering is qute easily decifered. Our task is to define plausible answers given our own life experience and education that people can take action on, making them better people and leading to the joy of spiritual development.

Why is there racial discrimination and social oppression and how do we end them? 

Quick answer: Any type of discrimination is against God's plan because it leads to suffering of the oppressed, who are denied justice.


God allows it because of free will but works aganst it by causing the oppressed to suffer, which shows it is wrong and motivates the oppressed to work to end it.  The way to end it is by  allowing the oppressors to see the damage they are doing to innocent human beings. If the oppressed do this out of love for their oppressors, making the oppressors see  themselves as the oppressors of vulnerable human beings, their suffering will be redemptive. If the oppressors come to see that the oppressed are acting out of love for them in absorbing the suffering they are causing, their consciences will cause them to relent and repent. This will save the oppressors' souls as well.

My mother is 90 years old, why is she suffering so terribly?


  • God punishes to rehabilitate and not to destroy.

  • God's goal is to unite with us in heaven and everything He does is based on that

  • People are sometimes asked to suffer for the benefit of others and if they accept this out of love for God and the people they are helping, it is redemptive.

Plausible answer:

The elderly in general struggle with bodily and mental breakdowns that warn and prepare them and their loved ones for their impending deaths.  It can at times be a vivid example of the lack of perfection on earth and makes the promises of the beatific vision that much more appealing, driving both the elderly and their loved ones to pursue union with God on earth so that it can continue after death.  As people approach death, it is natural for them to contemplate what is next. For people confident in God's Love, the pains of old age will prompt them to begin preparing for death by reconciling with God, a second task of suffering activity. Those more advanced in their faith will recognize that their suffering can be redemptive  for themselves and those that care for them and also for those that are influenced by their faith and fortitude

For those that have reached old age without faith in God, the pain may seem unfair or arbitrary, never recognizing  it as a very strong warning of what happens if you are separated from God.

Why do I suffer from my children turning away from God and his  Church?


  • Every person has free will so you cannot force anyone to believe what you believe, you can only make it more or less appealig though your witness.

  • God reaches out to everyone to bring them to himself.

Plausible Answer:

  • Since it is you who are suffering and not your "wayward children",  God seems to be telling you that your approach is doing  more harm than good. Trust God to bring your children to faith. Your role is to live your faith joyfully, making it appealing to those you encounter, including your children.


I am a teenager who has been bullied by others for years, why does God allow  it and how can I get it to stop? 

Quick answer: Bullies are generally insecure in their own social status and operate under the mistaken principal that bringing others down by exploiting their weaknesses raises them up.


God alllow this like all sin because he vales free willl so much.  The way to stop the bullying is to not show strength but your vulnerability, making it clear to the bully that they are harming a vulnerable, innocent human being.  The more innocent and vulnerable you are, the more heinous the crime will appear, even to the bully. It will be impossible for the bully to project strength to himself or others, destroying the impetus to bully you.  

What steps should a person take to diagnose why he or she is suffering?

Quick answer:

  1.  Determine the type of evil that the suffering has detected: 

    • Natural (sickness)​.

    • Physical (injury or loss of goods in storms, seismic events.

    • Are you the victim of someone else's sin?

    • Are you being punished for your own sin (should be a direct cause and effect reationship so you now why? I drank too much and now I feel sick).

  2. ​ Consider the 4 tasks of suffering to determine what is being taught​​​.

    •  Is your suffering driving you to have more fortitude or to be  more temperate?  Is your sufffering caused by unjust actions on your part?

    • Is your suffering driving you toward doing God's will  by removing impediments that are keeping you from him?

    • Are others suffering so you can help them?

    • Will others benefiit from your suffering? This is the default reason if you can't find any other reason because we don't have knowledge about how others can benefit but we know all suffering has a reason. Offer undiagnosed suffering to God with the belief that it is sharing in the cross of Christ by helping some one in some way that is beyod your capability to see.

  3. Write these and other considerations consistent with what we know about God and others in a short list and consider how God uses these things to perfect us and to bring us home to him​.

What does my child have a fatal diseases or birth defects?


  • That God's goal is to lead people back to him through suffering.

  • Young children have no personal sin.

  • God makes everyone perfect for a particular role  in life, no matter how limitted the role.

  • Some people suffer for the benefit of others

Plausible answer:  Small children who  suffer, do so to teach their parents or others they come in contact to  love more profoundly.  In some cases, where the parents have specific  skills, this defect may be their impetus to be advocates for  others with the same or similar problems​.

Why does God give us pandemics like Covid-19?


God does everything for the good of our souls.

God plans for every individuals life so the question is better asked from an  individual perspective.


Plausible Answer:

Large scale crises of all kinds provide abundant opportunities for all 4 tasks of suffering. They build virtues.

Why do I have terminal cancer? 


Considerations: Were you exposed to any known carcinagens?


Plausible Answer: If you were exposed to a known carcinagen, yours is a cautionary tale for others to avoid them or to stop creating them. If you share the details of your suffering with others who can benefit from it, your suffering can be redemptive. Either way, you are being given a great blessing with warning of your impending death to reconcile with God and those who depend on you.

bottom of page